Why Am I Doing This?

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I’ve been introspective about my blog lately, so I thought I’d write a purpose page. Like, trying to explain just why I feel the need to have a blog in the first place.

1. Speaking of introspective, I am. Remember the grouchy grandfather from the movie Heidi? Living alone in a cabin in the Swiss Alps, and only Shirley Temple can penetrate his misanthropic bubble? I’m like him mixed with a healthy dose of Boo Radley. Thus, it’s nice to spend some time writing my thoughts down, so they don’t just bounce around inside my head so much that they break something.

booradley and grampa

2. I spend my days with a human who has been on this earth for 21 1/2 months.

While children who are that age are extremely and heart-wrenchingly adorable, they are also really shitty conversationalists. Plus, now that the school year has ended, I have the chattiest and loudest and jumpiest 8 year old in the world on my hands, too.

That’s a lot of verbal energy I have to summon, and it hurts. Unlike other moms with blogs, and although I love those kids in a mind-numbing way, I prefer not to rehash their doings on these pages. Instead, I prefer to drink them away at the end of the day and retreat into a fantasy world. See:

3. Life is painfully horrible sometimes, and I’ve been through my share of tragedies, so I prefer to use humor as a coping mechanism. Probably too much. I’m usually trying to joke about something horrible that has happened way too soon, thereby earning myself a ‘socially awkward idiot’ award. If I write it down, it’s at least somewhat contained and makes me think through what I otherwise would have just blurted out.

4. I doled out tens of thousands of dollars on a college education in Ceramics. I’ve been working in a field for 14 years (on and off) that stresses me out beyond belief. Somewhere in there, I had the bright idea to spend another huge chunk of money to get my Esthetician’s license. What does this have to do with my blog? Due to the fact that I have a hard time making good career decisions, I now have plenty of writing material, plus I’m sort of burned out on even trying to figure out what I want to be, so I’ve settled on sitting around writing about myself.

I think that boils it down to my need for self-expression, creativity, humor and a sense of purpose. I mean narcissism, unhealthy love for sarcasm, lack of friends, and need to numb reality.

Do you see how I’m leaving this open for the reader’s interpretation? Brilliant.

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7 Comments

  1. Pegeen
    06/12/2011 / 3:21 pm

    Whatever you do, or for whatever reason, don't stop posting! I wonder what it says about me that I just might be your biggest fan? And for the record, my paying job is as a writing teacher. You rock.

    • 06/13/2011 / 6:15 am

      You're awesome. And thank you. And please feel free to tell me when I make horrible grammatical errors.

  2. betsey
    06/13/2011 / 8:49 am

    If it makes you feel any better, I want to tell you that I have never heard you say or do anything that would indicate that you are either socially awkward OR an idiot…and I will arm wrestle Pegeen for the title of "Biggest Fan"…but I really suck at arm wrestling, so whatever.

    • 06/14/2011 / 7:56 am

      Girl fight! And thanks, you are very kind. And cute, too.

    • Pegeen
      06/15/2011 / 9:32 am

      My sister's name is Betsy. I like the idea of arm wrestling a Betsy, no matter the spelling. And I've been doing my push-ups this summer too. (The crowned "Biggest Fan" gets a free t-shirt, right?)

      • 06/15/2011 / 9:50 am

        Not only do you get a free t-shirt, you also get an all-expenses paid vacation to Hawaii and a new car.

  3. 09/18/2014 / 1:40 am

    Hi

    Nice post and please keep writing. I go through similar emotions that you have mentioned and have resorted to writing. It somewhat gives you a sense of empowerment as well as a sense of responsibility. Thanks for the share and yes ! keep writing 🙂

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