For the Love of Glamorous Lashes

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When one is young, one should use a lot of mascara. When one is older, one should use much more.
-Queen Dowager from The Prince and the Showgirl, 1957

I saw The Hunger Games with Christian, and we shocked ourselves by agreeing that it could have stood to be even longer than it was. We were both craving even more detail. But it was still satisfying and true to the book and wonderfully entertaining.

I cried.

When little Rue kicked it, I got sad and teary and had to finally resort to using the brown paper movie theater napkins I nabbed for no apparent reason before the movie began.

The best part about crying is that my mascara doesn’t run- hell, it doesn’t EVER run because I use tube mascara, which is the subject of my love letter for today.

 

Dear tube mascara,

I love you with all my heart and soul.

Love, with all my heart and soul,
Jeanette B. Nyberg

 

As a teenager I was a fan of heavy eye makeup, complete with blackened inner eye rims and as many layers of mascara as I had time to brush on. This did not mix well with the fact that I suffered from severe seasonal allergies during pretty much every season.

I have horribly vivid memories of walking down the hall to my locker in the mornings, blinking away the tears from simply experiencing whatever happened to be airborne. I knew before checking out my reflection in the girls’ bathroom that those tears started as regular clear tears, but picked up a bunch of pigment on their way down my cheeks, leaving what looked like ink stains all over my face.

The waterproof mascara was worse, because it would migrate down, more slowly, but much more permanently under my eyes, leaving me looking 20 years early for the heroin chic trend.

Once upon a time, for no reason that I can remember, I discovered Blinc mascara, by Kiss Me. Or Kiss me mascara by Blinc. Whichever it is, they were terrible at branding because their tube was horribly designed, and they weren’t clear on which was their brand name and which was their product name. (They’ve since simplified to Blinc.)

Nevertheless, I fell hard for this $25 mascara. It is magical in that you swipe it on and it forms little plasticky tubes around your eyelashes. When you tire of being beautiful, the combination of light pressure and warm water releases the tubes all over your bathroom sink and you clap your hands and shriek with glee.

I can’t tell you what a revelation this was to me, probably much like people felt when antibiotics were invented.

Since then, I’ve tried the L’Oreal knock-off, which includes a white lash primer you’re supposed to brush on before the mascara, to make your lashes even more glam. I usually skip that part, though- their mascara is good- I don’t like it as much as Blinc, but it also costs a lot less and you can find it anywhere.

L'Oreal Double Extend Mascara

Someday if I’m brave, I’ll test out the lash-growth serums and take pics of my glamorous Bambi lashes. Until then, please tell me what you use on your lashes, because I need a good makeup voyeurism fix.

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22 Comments

  1. 04/05/2012 / 3:48 am

    I was really hoping you were going to tell us you tried the lash growth serums. I'm looking for a guinea pig…

  2. 04/05/2012 / 4:23 am

    Are we for real beauty-twins separated at birth. Because, man alive, I want to try Latisse. Like super mega bad.

  3. 04/05/2012 / 7:31 am

    Oh man, I don't use mascara hardly ever. My new favorite makeup is silicone primer because OOH BABY SMOOTH SKIN.

  4. 04/05/2012 / 7:36 am

    I have only successfully worn mascara once in my life. And that was because I washed half of it off. My dad was all "are you wearing makeup? you look really nice!" (the shock is implied in that last part). But I have always loved large bold lashes. Maybe I'll try to find some of this Blinc you speak of.

  5. 04/05/2012 / 7:37 am

    I don't use anything on my lashes right now. I really like BadGal Lash by BeneFit and my drugstore love is one by Cover Girl that i forgot the name of right now. But, I have the allergy problem and have yet to find something that stays on. Ill check out the Blin though and see what I think!

  6. 04/05/2012 / 7:37 am

    *blinc. Wow I cannot type today!!

  7. 04/05/2012 / 7:52 am

    Oh no! Okay, lemme see what I can do about gathering my bravery together and seeing how long I can make my lashes and then blogging about it. I suppose I'll need before and after pics….

  8. 04/05/2012 / 7:52 am

    I'll try it if you try it! We can have a lash-growing race.

  9. 04/05/2012 / 7:53 am

    I wanna smooth silicone skin! That sounds all sorts of pretty.

  10. 04/05/2012 / 7:55 am

    Once!?!? I think you should probably just jump right into giant false lashes. They're actually really fun when you don't mind spending the time to glue them on.

  11. 04/05/2012 / 7:57 am

    I can't believe all of you non-mascara users! I'm shocked and terribly upset. Well, let me know what you think of the Blinc if you try it.

  12. 04/05/2012 / 10:58 am

    Mascara is my friend, because I have light eyelashes and look like a tired 'possum without it. I just use regular drugstore brown/black, because I'm afraid the black will be too dark for my pasty skin tone. Clearly, I err on the side of subtlety.

    I think we should all put on fake lashes and post pics. I don't do eye shadow or lipstick (just gloss), because I look like babies in makeup when I do (anyone else old enough to remember that SNL sketch?).

    Also, I think Tammy Faye Baker may have mentioned the same thing about wearing more mascara when you're older! 😉

  13. 04/05/2012 / 12:40 pm

    Oh I love product posts. Mascara is my one thing, well that and a bit of bronzer that I cannot be without. The tube mascara is awesome. I've only used the loreal. I stil layer it on til my contacts cry for help.

  14. 04/05/2012 / 3:23 pm

    My lashes like to rock out and go naked. Yeah, that's how I party, bitches!

    (makes it much easier to cry in public.)

  15. 04/06/2012 / 2:45 am

    I heard that Oprah uses false eyelashes made of mink. She apparently loves them and uses them daily. They are very expensive. I would guess that we don't notice a difference in her appearance despite $500 fake eyelashes but I'm sure she does.

    I'm too lazy to remove make up so I rarely use it. Mascara is the worst for me to remove. It never seems to fully come off. What do you use for removal?

  16. 04/06/2012 / 3:48 am

    It's easy to get this stuff off- you just use warm water and gently rub.

  17. 04/06/2012 / 3:49 am

    You saucy thing. Another naked eyelasher here, yeesh.

  18. 04/06/2012 / 3:50 am

    Yay! I'm going to start piling the bronzer on.

  19. 04/06/2012 / 3:51 am

    I don't do lipstick, either. I look crazy with it on, but mascara and eyeshadow are my favs. And I totally agree with the fake lashes party.

  20. 04/06/2012 / 12:26 pm

    I hide my mascara-less eyes behind glasses. My eyes are always itchy… This stuff sounds great though – love their product illustration/demo – may have to try it!

    I do like Loreal lip-gloss for the dumbest reason – smells good.

  21. 04/06/2012 / 1:58 pm

    I use Dr. Pepper lip balm for the same reason. Num.

  22. 04/11/2012 / 4:13 am

    Lancome Definicils. It is available in waterproof. Back in the olden days, Immencils was the most incredible. I don't know why they got rid of it.

    L'Oreal is Lancome's drugstore name. I have had decent luck with Volumizing Mascara since times have been tight.

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