Creative House Hunting

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Yesterday Christian and I spent 5 hours driving around with a stranger. She was a nice stranger, and not exactly a total stranger, as I had contacted her about showing us some houses. I just broke out in a cold sweat and mentally vomited thinking about buying a house, but it’s actually happening.

We’ve been renting a horrific house of doom for 6 years after crashing with the housing crash, and now we’re dusting our trousers off and jumping back into the old game.

The down side to this is that I can’t pretend to be negligent riffraff and whip my beer cans out the window any more. I must start brushing my teeth again and pretend to care about the state of the lawn- but this is okay. I think I’m up for attempting to act civilized.

During the first few hours I was deep in the throes of a Nyquil hangover, so I have no idea what we saw or what sort of nonsense spewed out of my face, but by the time we had seen about 8 subdivisions and 5 or so houses, we made it to the home Christian and I had been internet-stalking for a few weeks.

It’s a beauty. Nearly 3,000 sf of 80’s splendor, right down to the black/red/white color scheme, mirrored surfaces aplenty, alarmingly high-backed metal chairs. And the layout is insane. Home builders of the 1980’s must have had access to some damn potent drugs- and we’re the whack-jobs who are looking for just this sort of ‘unique’ home.

Our realtor told us that most people like the cookie-cutter, move-in ready, traditional homes, so she had great fun pointing out houses she thought we’d like as we drove by.

What Christian and I share, that apparently most of the people around us don’t, is a need to have a loft-like, open, city-like home nestled in the safe, quiet arms of the suburbs. And we want to pick all of our own surfaces/paint colors/floors, etc. There is absolutely no way we are going to be happy with somebody else’s idea of ‘move-in ready’, so we chose to go the route of Property Brothers sans brothers.

I have a feeling you all will be privy to some of the before and after photos when we finally get to that stage, so I hope you enjoy laughing at other peoples’ remodeling stress.

I’ll leave you with a couple of photos from the home we fell in love with and see if you can see past the fabulous decor and other cosmetic problems…

house1

house2

 

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12 Comments

  1. 02/09/2016 / 7:26 am

    OMG IT IS RIGHT OUT OF A JOHN HUGHES MOVIE!!
    You need to buy it.
    Please buy it AND the furniture.
    Then we can film a cool re-make/80’s movie of our own!!
    PLEASE?

    • 02/10/2016 / 1:48 pm

      I’m pretty sure John Cryer comes with the house, but I have to double check.

    • John
      02/14/2016 / 9:48 am

      My tip: More macramé fern hangers. Lots more. And they make some pretty realistic fake ferns these days.

      • 02/17/2016 / 10:35 am

        Why are you not still working as a prop stylist? You obviously haven’t lost your design sense at all.

  2. 02/10/2016 / 8:08 am

    I can already see a dance party happening in the middle of that room.

    • 02/10/2016 / 1:48 pm

      Don;t you know it, girl, DON’T YOU KNOW IT. It’s gonna be so awkward and full of unrecognizable dance moves. And Fig Newtons for snacks!

  3. 02/14/2016 / 6:18 am

    I am drooling over this house. The lines of the ceiling and walls in the second picture make me want to weep with joy. Do I see macrame?

    • 02/17/2016 / 10:38 am

      Weeping with joy over houses is encouraged. That’s how I’m feeling, too. I think I failed to properly notice the macrame with everything else going on in the house; there also happen to be about 16 billion ashtrays and 42.8 billion clocks everywhere, which made all my tics start to fire.

  4. 02/14/2016 / 1:10 pm

    Yay! I can’t wait to see what you will do with this new space to play in!

    • 02/17/2016 / 10:32 am

      I could blast through a few hundred grand in about a minute with what I WANT to do to it. 🙂

  5. 02/14/2016 / 1:12 pm

    Lovely home – can’t wait to see you make it your own!! Congrats!

    • 02/17/2016 / 10:31 am

      Aw thanks Crystal- it’s so fun to start with a blank slate. Well, sort of a blank slate… I’m excited!

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