Do Not Get Sick!
Okay, now. We’re in the home stretch of sick season. That time of year when we feel safe to call into work sick with a “stomach bug” so we can create our own 3-day weekend to catch up on Mad Men. I’m here to say: don’t let down your guard. Spring sickness can happen to [...]
Flatulent
Hello my flatulent little friends. Did you miss me? I have been working hard, much like one of Santa’s elves, to make another web site. I’ve been feeling awkward for a while about having a directionless personal site, and I don’t enjoy writing about the antics of my children, so I dug down deep and [...]
How to get Your Neighbors to Move Away
Neighbors suck, right? I’ve begun a list of actions you can implement to help you become neighbor-free in as little as 30 days. Depending on how aggressively you adopt these suggestions, you will be nude sunbathing in no time. 1. Create cryptic messages and drawings on your windows that face their house. Think scenes of [...]
How to Not Bore the Shit out of Your Therapist
Therapists nowadays are enjoying unprecedented numbers of patients, flocking to them like gaggles of zombies seeking mental clarity. Like that’s gonna happen! Don’t you think they grow tired of us all whining to them? I’ll bet they do. Don’t try to talk yourself into thinking that wasn’t a stifled yawn you saw at your last [...]
