A Somewhat Formal and Very Public Apology

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Today someone yelled at me for hurting his feelings. Some of you may remember this post from a few months ago. The subject of the post’s wife apparently saw the post and accused him of having an affair based on one of the comments to which I replied. I apologized to the man and offered to talk to the wife to clear things up, but he declined.

First, I would like to say I have no knowledge of this man’s love life or marriage, and I truly am sorry if what I wrote caused any sort of rift between his wife and him. My reply to the comment? Well, really it was an inside joke between the commenter and myself. Just an example of an unfortunate sense of humor that doesn’t make sense to many people.

With that said, I don’t regret writing the post. I was completely honest in saying that he was a nice guy, but he talked too much. I get pretty worked up when I think about people who monopolize conversations- I think it’s incredibly rude and as a quiet, polite person, I find it nearly impossible to get away when I am cornered by a talker; I feel taken advantage of and exhausted.

I know I’m not perfect- in fact I probably don’t talk enough. I loathe small talk and probably make people feel uncomfortable when they realize I am not going to join them in chatting. I don’t go out of my way to be friends with someone I don’t have anything in common with, and then gossip about them to other people. That seems to be the way a lot of the moms in this area operate and it’s pretty odd.

Still, I’m a little shaken up at being yelled at- I hope it helped him get out some of his anger, and I suppose I won’t have to worry about how I’m going to politely excuse myself from listening to him in the future.

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10 Comments

  1. Julie
    08/26/2011 / 6:08 am

    I don't see anything wrong with your previous post. You even said that he was a very nice guy, but just talked too much. Sometimes people just need to grow a thicker skin and get over it.

    Just last week we had our annual termite inspection and since I was already off of work I got to deal with it this year instead of my husband. The termite inspector was a really nice guy but he also talked too much. Way too much. I'm pretty sure the inspection and paperwork should have only taken about 30 minutes, tops, but he was at our house for a little over an hour. My 5-year old daughter was home with me and so that gave him an opening to tell me all about his 6-year old daughter. He showed me several pictures of her from his wallet and on his phone. He told me who her favorite princess is. He told me what school his daughter goes to and the area of town he lives in. He told me all about how he and his daughter love to go 4-wheeling. He told me that she used to do gymnastice but she does ice skating now and then he offered to call his wife to get the info about ice skating just in case I wanted to get my daughter into it. I actually had to stop him frim calling her. He told me how baby fine his daughter's hair is and how bows just slide out of her hair and what a mess her hair is at the end of a school day. He told me all about his friend's cabinet business and how he does good work for 1/2 to 1/3 of the cost of other companies. He told me that his friend just refaced some cabinets in a kitchen for some people in a ritzy neighborhood and how they had 185 cabinet doors in their kitchen, drawers not included. Personally, I find this kind of hard to believe because, although my kitchen is not huge, I only have 18 cabinet doors. Their kitchen would have to be about as big as my entire house. He talked n-o-n-s-t-o-p about a multitude of things for the entire time he was at my house. Nice guy, but I was glad when he finally left.

  2. 08/26/2011 / 10:07 am

    Hi Julie, Thanks for your comment. That's pretty funny- I guess termite guy was enjoying having your undivided attention- it's kind of hard to leave your own house. Also- 185 cabinets would be the most insane kitchen ever. I'd start storing clothes in some of them, because who has that many dishes?

  3. 08/26/2011 / 10:15 am

    you got nothing to worry about . you stick to your knitting and let people stick to theirs. screw people sometimes. seriously. I am a loud mouth online, but very quiet in real life. No tolerance for people who spew at me. xo

  4. 08/26/2011 / 1:30 pm

    I had a feeling you were my people. One day I'm gonna come over to your house, have a coffee, chat for a bit, then we will both read our books in silence. It'll be awesome. Silence and company. Good combo.

  5. 08/26/2011 / 3:08 pm

    That sounds splendid. I may even serve you a canape.

  6. 08/26/2011 / 3:16 pm

    Sweet lord, I have never heard that phrase before (knitting), but I love it. And thanks, you are awesome.

  7. Steve
    08/27/2011 / 7:12 pm

    The digital universe is a strange kind of space. We interact with people though ideas in ways that are both more and less intimate than flesh and blood interactions. I regularly make jokes that I wouldn't dream of saying in person because I have the insulation of the digital nature of our interaction to establish that it is only humor, and not a suggestion of action in the Real World. Mostly it is a liberating opportunity to communicate in ways that social mores simply don't permit. Occasionally, I have unintentionally offended people. When that happens, I have apologized, just as you did. Not because anything that was done was wrong, but simply because an unintentional mistake caused pain.
    I think it's worth taking those risks for the very real understanding that is gained when it works.

  8. 08/28/2011 / 8:19 am

    Thanks for the insightful comment- I really enjoyed reading your point of view, because this form of expression is fairly new to me. And I agree with you; it's worth taking the risks and it's probably not a good idea to be overly censoring of thoughts, but there's an interesting fine line there…

  9. 08/29/2011 / 10:23 am

    Your comment about not talking much (and maybe not enough) in real life, yet having a ton to say totally hit home. When posed a question, I might respond with a sentence or two out loud, (often sounding awkward and choppy). I sometimes feel like I have a verbal disability. But writing the answer to the same question results in a paragraph or two. Probably true of many bloggers, I would imagine.

  10. 08/30/2011 / 6:43 am

    I think you're totally right- I also find when I'm not out there in the real world speaking very much, it gets worse. People are lucky if they get a grunt out of me 🙂

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